the pillows- tashikame ni yukou (let’s see if that’s true or not)

from runners high

translation by terra [ ] (c) 2005

Yuzutta bun dake yuganda no sa
Hibi wareta toko te wo atete-mita
Nan da ka doku ga nukete masshiro
Boku ga kagami de waratteru

Natsukashii sugata wa tojikomete
Doko de furueteru no ka mo shirazu
Aimai na kioku tadottetara
Otoshite kudakete-shimatta
Mou mirenai

Ima no boku wo machiukeru mono ni
Nani wo atehamateita no ka sae
Jibun de wakaranakatta kuse ni
Katte ni shitsubou shiteita

Donna kitai wo shiteita no darou
Tane mo shikake mo nai MAJIKKU ni
Damasaretai to negatte-mitemo
Me to mimi wa kazari janai kara
Sore mo dekinai

Jibun katte de otanage nakute
Kibun shidai de mayotte bakari
Tachi ga warui no wa sonna toki mo
Machigatta koto wo mitomenai

Nakama to ita tte sabishikunaru
Yasashiku sareta tte mada tarinai
Nani mo nai yoru wa kietaku naru
Boku no katachi ga wakarimasu ka?

Hadashi no mama de hitogomi wa arukenaku natte
Kutsu mo haite chotto hanate-mita tte
Taka ga konna mon sa
ASUFARUTO wa mada ano koro no boku wo oboeteru ka
Taiyou ga motto takaku mabushiku kanjita mainichi wo

Mune ni sasatteru toge wo nuite
Okubyoumono no MASUKU hagashite
Karamitsuku ROOPU ga hodeketara
Kimi ni tsutetatai koto ga aru

Umaku waraenakuta tte ii yo
Nakitai toki wa naitemo ii yo
Kossori yowane haitemo ii yo
Itsuwari no nai sekai made
Tashikame ni yukou

Let’s see, if that’s true or not
Only the part that I gave up has been distorted
I put my hand on the place it was cracked
Somehow the poison came out, pure white
I’m laughing in the mirror

Unknowingly I locked away that familiar sight
I suppose it’s shivering somewhere
If I pursue these vague memories
They’ll just break and I’ll lose them
I won’t be able to see them anymore

Will I be able to fulfill
The one who waits for me now?
In spite of me being unable to understand
I’m selfishly disappointed

Whatever expectations I might have had
Even though I wish I could be fooled
By magic that has no secrets or tricks
Because my eyes and ears are plain
I can’t do that, either

I’m selfish, I’m childish
I just lose my way at the whimsy of my feelings
My nature is hateful, so even then
I couldn’t admit I made a mistake

Even among friends I feel lonely
Even though they’re nice to me it’s not enough
I want to disappear in the empty night
Do you understand what I am?

Barefoot, I can’t walk through the crowd
Even though I put on some shoes and try to jump a little
There’s too many of them
Does the asphalt still remember who I used to be?
Every day it’s like the sun is even higher and brighter

If I could pull out the thorn that pierces my heart
If I could tear off the coward’s mask
If I could just undo these ropes
I have something I want to tell you

If you can’t smile about it, it’s okay
If there’s times when you want to cry, it’s okay
If you want to secretly complain, it’s okay
Until there is a world without lies
Let’s see if that’s true or not

Let’s see if that’s true or not